​At the beginning:

1. Show up.  Show up and take care of whatever is needed.
2. Sit next to.  Be there to be held.
3. Give warm calming drinks. Lavender Tea.  Saffron Tea. Chamomile Tea. 
4. Give warm, soothing meals.  Soups.  Mashed potatoes.
5. Give space.  Give Love.  Give Compassion.
6. Take for walks and listen.
7. Share deep sorrow.
8. Talk about the deceased.  Share memories.
9. Send a card.
10. Create a fund to help family.
11. Put money in an envelope to give instead of flowers.
12. Create a meal train for the family.  Start meals one to two weeks after passing for a period of three months, two times per week.
13. Help with funeral planning and details.
14. Ask guests to write memories of deceased to turn into a memory book for the family.

In the early months:

1. Show up and clean the house.
2. Show up and bring groceries.
3. Show up and take the kids on an outing.
4. Show up and sit with. 
5. Show up and brainstorm on what needs to get done.
6. Help make the call for grief counseling.
7. Help accomplish any financial benefit tasks.

In the first year:

1. Show up for support.
2. Check in regularly to instill you’ve got their back.
3. Make sure grief therapy is continued.
4. Check in to help unclutter home.
5. Check in to assist in going through the deceased’s belongings.
6. Show up to help with tombstone details.
7. Show up to handle car maintenance.
8. Check in at milestones.   First Birthdays. First Anniversaries.  Graduations or First Day of School.
9. Talk about the deceased.  Share memories.
10. Show up to take the bereaved out to eateries. 
11. Take for walks.
12. Listen.
13. Give support and suggestions for sleepless nights.
14. Share soothing music to heal the deep pain.
15. Encourage writing/creating/art as a form of healing.
16. Encourage self-care as a form of healing.
17. Brainstorm on how the pain can be transformed to help others.
18. Give Love.
19. Give Compassion.
20. Give Understanding.